Archive for March, 2010


Posted in Uncategorized on 03/31/2010 by Christopher Balcer

My Desktop. Found on StumbleUpon.


Verbally incapacitated!

Posted in Uncategorized on 03/29/2010 by Christopher Balcer

So Sunday, my voice decides to quit. Entirely. I couldn’t vocalize at all. Spent most of the day whispering and playing charades. Today isn’t much better. I sound like… well, shit, to be precise and frank about it. My voice is terrible, but at least it doesn’t hurt to talk. Also have a slight head cold. So yeah. Not much fun.

Doing fine otherwise. School’s going pretty good. Pulled one over on my English classmates. We had split into groups, two groups of six and one of three (the group of three had a smaller section). I was in a group of six, all girls (Score, right? Not so much. None of them seem to have any level of tolerance for me.) When we gathered, I proceeded to speak up (in my shitty voice). I offered to read the section, create a Powerpoint, and then everybody could read off of it for the project. A moment of stunned silence followed, as my groupmates could not comprehend such an act of generosity from me. One of the girls spoke up.

“You know, as much as I would like to say no to that… as much as my morals speak out against it… I just can’t say no. Let’s do that, then.”

So it was planned out for me to do most, if not all, of the work. Meanwhile, the group of three held a good friend, a great friend, and an annoying… person. Female. Name of Kelly. Anyway. Darren overheard me talking, and remembered that the teacher said that at the beginning, any two people in separate groups who wanted to switch could, as long as both members were willing to. Darren proposed to Kelly that she and I switch places. She was ecstatic to be rid of Darren, and be in a group of all girls. I waltzed over, laughing as my previous group members were left in despair with the prospect of actually doing work now. Good times.

So anyway, yeah. Good week so far. Let’s hope it holds.

What a laugh.

Posted in Uncategorized on 03/26/2010 by Christopher Balcer

Just kind of really pissed off this freshman girl. Well, she’s a sophomore, but she’s taking all freshman classes again, so she’s technically a freshman. She doesn’t do her work, she makes up terrible excuses, and for some reason she sees me as a good friend. She’s also into the whole drugs and alcohol thing, which I don’t necessarily have a problem with, I just don’t want to be associated with that. So anyway, she’s been sick or something like that, I don’t know, and she hasn’t been doing her work, and she starts to blame the teacher for it because he forgot to put in a grade. So she says to me in passing, “God, he’s failing me because he’s not putting in my work.” (Or something like that, I’m paraphrasing at best.) So I say to her, “Well, maybe if you did some work on time, you’d be passing.” So she starts getting all mad, saying that she’s gonna punch me, bla bla bla, stuff she usually says. Except I think that this time I really pissed her off bad. She’s all ranting and raving and dropping the f-bomb like mad at the end of class, really pissed and such. I just laughed. If she wants to do something crazy when she’s high or drunk like shoot me or stab me in the neck  or something, whatever. Her agenda. I’m unconcerned. So, yeah. Psycho bitch is mad at me, whatever. I think it’s hilarious.

Sorry for not posting more, just haven’t had much meaningful to talk about. Prom’s coming up (don’t know when or where, don’t much care either). I’m not going to go, even though everybody’s all like “oh, you’ll regret it so much” and “you’ll have such a good time if you go”. I think that the exact opposite is true- if I stay home, I’ll have such a good time playing video games (like I usually d0), and if I go, I’ll regret it because I’ll be by myself.

Why by myself, you ask? Well, because more or less every girl that’s on my level or a tier or two above detests me. All the senior girls on my level and a tier or two above hate me because they think that I’m a chauvinist asshole, or just an asshole in general. I’m not a chauvinist, but I will admit, I am a bit of an amoral asshole. So that rules out most of the senior girls. The other few that are left in my grade are either going with somebody else, or I have no chance with. So yeah.

Now, there’s always the other classes, right? Wrong. The junior class of girls is mostly all the… well… I don’t know what you kids call them these days. The kind of blonde “OMG” girls who walk around with their frakking faces glued to their cellphones texting and updating Facebook or whatever. The remainder hate me because I pissed one of them off, and the select few that are both single and don’t harbor an intense hatred for me and are tolerable to be around, I have absolutely no shot at getting out with me.

And the sophomore and freshman class? Don’t even go there. Most of the girls are like the junior class to the power of three, and the rest are… well… creepy. Like really creepy. You know, not like “goth girl who has conspicuous marks on her arm”, I mean like “possibly inbred probably mistake of nature” creepy. You know. That kind of girl. Which I have no real intention of going out with.

So, I guess whatever night prom is on will see me in my usual location- in the chair in front of my TV, scouring the Capital Wasteland for parts to make a Railway Rifle, and such. Then I’ll go on a quick date with my right hand, call it a night, and sleep until ten the next morning. I’m actually content with my life, pathetic and lonely as it is. Can you say that about your life?

Can you honestly say, with all the truthfulness you can muster, that you are happy? That your current life makes you smile at most, if not every, turn? I can. I can say it with a straight goddamn face, too. I’m genuinely happy where I am, and I don’t need something like prom to come along and shake things up.

Peace, y’all. Have a good rest of your week. Happy Friday.

Holy debates…

Posted in Uncategorized on 03/22/2010 by Christopher Balcer

Had a really fun time in English today… mainly tearing each other apart about whether or not eating babies would have solved Ireland’s poverty problem in the 1700’s (A Modest Proposal). It turned good friends into bloodthirsty savages, tearing each other apart based on their point of view. I, of course, ended up on the baby-eating side. Which means I got attacked by everybody on the opposing team. Which is understandable, because I spent most of my time attacking the other people. Whatever. Everybody was getting way too worked up about it, myself included.

So yeah. I don’t really know what to post from here. Why don’t you guys comment, give me some ideas? You know, as to what you want to hear. I’ve got life stories, dreams (both literal and metaphorical), funny comments, game reviews, movie reviews… come on, people. Tell me what you want. Don’t be shy, speak up.

Miiiiiiiiiine Craaaaaaaaaft….

Posted in Uncategorized on 03/17/2010 by Christopher Balcer

THIS is an awesome game. Play it. Love it. Yeah. Whatever. You know. This post is kind of meaningful (the next one will be MORE meaningful, I promise), because it’s my journal. Of my time on Minecraft Island. The game doesn’t really have rules yet, so I have to make my own. (I’m going to post a game mode next time.) Either way, I think it’s somewhat amusing. To those of you who read, you might like it.

1. Spawned on a sand bar in the middle of a rather large gulf. Seems this island is somewhat flooded.

2. Spotted a large cluster of trees off in the distance. Going to go harvest for the Keep.

3. Harvested 92 units of lumber. Looking at seaside cliffs has given me an idea…

4. Built a relatively good-sized Keep… ON THE SIDE OF THE FREAKING CLIFFS. So badass. Not finished yet, but I am going back to the woods to harvest more lumber.

5. Got sidetracked on the way to the forest. Discovered large underwater cavern (will be extra cautious not to drown), with the possibility of metals. Will explore more once I have constructed a metal refinery.

6. Harvested 99 units of lumber.

7. On the way back to the Keep, I killed a pig by knocking it off a cliff. It died at the bottom. I felt a sense of foreboding as I remembered Lord of the Flies… hope that doesn’t bite me in the ass. The last thing I want is for the island to burn.

8. Man, out of lumber again. This Keep is taking some time to build… but it looks awesome, so I don’t care. Going back to mine some more.

9. Fractured my freaking ankle jumping down.

10. Harvested 70 lumber. I was rudely forced out of the area by a few skeletons. I gave them the slip in the forest, though.

11. Completed the Keep. It’s badass, too.

12. Hopped on top of the balcony to survey my territory, when a whizzing sound jolted me out of my reverie. A wooden shaft buried itself in the wall next to my head. Looking across the bay, I could see the same group of skeletons, probably out for revenge after the badassness of my castle made all their wives leave them. I decided to beat a hasty retreat, as the air thickened with arrows.

13. I decided to wait until they were directly below my badass Keep, and then I dropped a few sticks of TNT on them. It fixed three problems- one, I now have a deep pool of water to catch me if I ever fall out of my Keep, they’re all dead, and now I have a nifty huge freaking hole in my badass Keep. I fixed it, but left a small unit hole so I could do a ninja escape into the waters below.

14. Used leftover lumber from badass Keep to begin construction of a Stone Refinery. It won’t be badass, but hey, I’ll be able to build a badass Castle.

15. Ran out of lumber, obviously. Going to go harvest some more from a more nearby forest.

16. The habits of the undead on this island are interesting. The zombies just shamble around, but the skeletons seem to have some level of intelligence. They even have some ritual, probably making sacrifices to the gods that put them there so long ago, hoping that they will remove their curse and either restore them or let them die. I got to experience this ritual firsthand. It involves ripping out the entrails of a living person, and waving them towards the sky and chanting in some strange, arcane language. The smell of my blood has attracted the spiders, too. Fun. At least I won’t go to waste.

A screw-up of epic proportions.

Posted in Uncategorized on 03/15/2010 by Christopher Balcer

Dammit, dammit, dammit, DAMMIT. I came this close, readers. THIS close. To having somewhat of a shot at a significant relationship. I was doing everything right, I was taking interest in what she was doing, what she was talking about (and the weird thing is, I was genuinely interested, it wasn’t bullshit), everything you’re supposed to do- and then I said one stupid little thing that really ticked her off, and BANG. Any chance I might have had was shot the fuck down. So yeah. I think that I’m just going to give up on that whole angle of my life, then. I can live with that. Some people can’t whistle, some people can’t snap their fingers, some people can’t decompose radical fractions, and I can’t love. There, see? I fit right in.

EDIT- You know, not really sure what I was thinking when I posted this. You guys don’t need to hear about this shit, you’ve got enough problems of your own. Next post will be relatively interesting and relevant, I promise.

List of favorites…?

Posted in Uncategorized on 03/08/2010 by Christopher Balcer

Do you think I should?
EDIT- Since I don’t care about your opinion, I’m going to post it anyway.

Favorite weapon: MP5 (NOT MP5K)
Favorite celebrity: Liam Neeson
Favorite movie: Avatar (I don’t care if it’s Pocahontas.)
Favorite animal: Cuttlefish
Favorite kitchen utensil: The Fork
Favorite mode of transportation: On Foot
Favorite book: Starfist: First to Fight
Favorite generic food: Chicken
Favorite specific food: White bread with Swiss cheese, thinly sliced chicken (ham, bologna, or turkey may substitute), mayonnaise, mustard, lettuce, tomato slices, cut diagonally, each piece having a green olive with a pimento speared into it with a white round toothpick.

More to follow. Maybe.