Archive for January, 2010

Oh come ON!!!

Posted in Uncategorized on 01/28/2010 by Christopher Balcer

Following my previous post, as you know, I am getting extremely desperate for female companionship. So much so, that I decided to sign up to eHarmony.com and see who I could find. Assuming the false name of “Brian”, I entered my deepest personal thoughts and feelings into this website. I searched the entire world for somebody who could possibly love me. Well, guess what I got?

FFFFUUUUUUUUU

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Getting Lonely Up Here in Awesome.

Posted in Uncategorized on 01/26/2010 by Christopher Balcer

So, been on the singles list for quite some time now. Can’t remember how long, really. I guess at this point, it doesn’t much matter. I’ve honestly been so desperate for real, meaningful female companionship that I’ve started putting a dress on my left hand.

I kid. I have, however, started trying these online dating sites that are popping up everywhere on the Internets, which I frequent often. They’re really not worth it. I mean, REALLY not worth it. Either you have to pay to actually see who you’re “compatible” with, or the people that it does say you’re “compatible” with is a complete miss. I mean, a really, really, really complete miss.

Anyway. So there you have it. Your faithful poster is getting a bit lonely… okay, maybe more than a bit. I’m just really, really hurting for a girl who’s  real, somebody who’s actually half intelligent, somebody who reads meaningful books, and somebody who probably has similar interests to mine. IF you’re out there, then hey. You’ve got my contact info. Hit me up, we’ll see if something can’t be worked out.

Whoosh!

Posted in Uncategorized on 01/21/2010 by Christopher Balcer

Some days, I really feel extremely unlucky. Everything I do seems to go wrong, I can’t catch even the smallest break, and I go to bed saying “well that sucked.” However, today is not one of those days. Today, so much could have gone wrong, and so far, I have pushed my luck to the extreme of extremes. I’m loving it. I’m dodging so many bullets it’s like I’m in the goddamn Matrix. Woosh woosh woosh woosh woosh MISSED ME!!! Ha ha. La vida es buena.

EDIT: Similar topic for today- I figured I’m going to push my luck as far as it will go. And so far, it has proceeded to stretch before me like a long plane of heavenly bliss. I’m walking right up to the man, kicking him in the groin, and thumbing my nose at him. And my luck has covered my ass every single inch of the way. I’m loving it. I am loving it so much. This worries me, though… when my luck runs out, my luck runs out. Because of this, I have never done it that much. But I figure as long as I’m at it, I might as well push it until it runs out. So I shall post again from the hospital later this week when my magical well finally goes dry, and every opposing force looking for a piece of me goes to town. I’m going skiing this weekend, too- not a time to have one’s luck run out.

Oh dear, what a mess.

Posted in Uncategorized on 01/11/2010 by Christopher Balcer

Well, the whole “comic” thing not turning out very well was a big bummer. I had the idea all planned out for quite a few strips, too. At least two months worth. It’s just that reality caught up to me- the fact that I have practically zero ability to transmit this kind of thing into an artistic medium. Unfortunately, that’s something I’m going to have to live with, I guess. But hey, you’re not here to be burdened by my failings! You’re here to be entertained! So here you are!

🙂

NO Comic!

Posted in Uncategorized on 01/07/2010 by Christopher Balcer

And who could have predicted this? You, that’s who. Don’t really know what I was thinking. Perhaps I wasn’t. Sorry, y’all.

Good morning, world.

Posted in Uncategorized on 01/06/2010 by Christopher Balcer

Kind of a downer this morning, seeing as how I can’t find my goddamned MP3 player. Really unfortunate, seeing as how that’s the only way I can survive on the bus… otherwise, I’d die from retardation overdose from all the idiocy on that rolling tin can. At least with the headphones, I can pretend that I can’t hear anybody spewing their baffling nonsense. That way, they don’t engage me, and I don’t get primary exposure.

Comic is coming along swimmingly. Expect the first installment tomorrow. And if you’re patient (and by you I mean Spencer) and stick around for a while, you might like what you see.

Possibilities…?

Posted in Uncategorized on 01/05/2010 by Christopher Balcer

Well, I had a good deal of time yesterday to think about things. And as I was mulling over these things, all these thinking thoughts in my head, a particularly funny joke came up that I can’t recall for the life of me. And then a thought came up- “You know, people think I’m a funny guy, somewhat. And I like writing. And I can draw okay. So… perhaps a comic?” Cue better judgement to show up.
“What the hell are you thinking, stupid?! You can’t draw anything more than stick figures.” To which I reply, “Well true, but there’s nothing wrong with stick figures.”
“Yeah, you’re right. Go ahead and make another XKCD knockoff, see if anybody finds it remotely amusing.”
“Well I’ve got a unique style of humor, though. You have to admit that.”
“It’s only ‘unique’ because it’s an amalgam of things other people have said that are funny and good timing. You’re lucky, that’s all. Don’t push your luck and let people find out how retarded you are.”
“You know what, better judgment? Fuck you. I’m making a comic. And I’m going to update it frequently.”
“What, every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday?”
“Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday, bitch.”
“Uh huh. You won’t make it to Thursday.”

At that point, I got into a minor altercation with my better judgement, and ended up deciding to draw a comic. First update starts Thursday, as soon as I can get it posted. With any luck, my better judgement will stay quiet as I continue to draw and post new comics.

Hopefully.